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Best Scuba Instructor Application and Reply

Application (boring standard)

Dear Sir/Madam, I have recently qualified as a PADI Open Water Scuba and Emergency First Response Instructor after completing an IDC in Phuket. I am therefore currently looking for work as an OWSI/EFRI anywhere within Thailand. I have previously dived in Australia, New Zealand and Thailand and I spent 3 months in a Divemaster Internship in Coral Bay, Western Australia,  during which I gained experience in crewing, guiding, selling, etc. If you require any further information, then please do not hesitate to contact me via email or on. I thank you in anticipation of any assistance that you can provide. Yours faithfully.

Reply to Application (funny and honest)

Don’t take this the wrong way, but if you can handle a 35 year old boss who thinks she is 25, a 25 year old husband ( to the boss) who is, very shortly going to become her ex husband, an epileptic monkey who is 2 years old and as cheeky as monkeys can get, a mad dog, a dive shop that got flooded out in winter time so now we are operating out of my bar/café, that incidentally is doing better than the dive shop, a marketing department that don’t exist, a range of customers that came to ? because they saw the owner on an ITV documentary about falling in love in a foreign climate, and now god forbid they playing it on all BA long haul fights, unbeknown to them the relationship is over and on the up side, a superb boat, that is in the throws of repossession ( its
not our boat but we sure love using it) great staff, and lots of mad mates, then yeah, we have a job for you! Cant promise you will make a fortune but have a spare room in my luxury three bedroom villa ( that by the way, I didn’t buy out of company profits, because in ?? there are 40 shops in competition with us and they don’t operate out of a bar) so drop me an email if this sounds like the kind of job you would like right out of your PADI IDC and really, this is a walk in the park compared to the job I got out of my PADI IDC, but that my friend is another story! It really sucks trying to get a job around here, I know I have been there, I have very little to offer you, other than 7 years worth of mind bending stories, lots of Heineken And the occasional days work, but if you think
you can turn it around, I am your girl!

Sorry, its been a long day, and for once in my life, when I get an email from people looking for work, I just fancied being honest! ?? soon to go back to being If you don’t like this email, rather than sent it to PADI or all your mates and my potential customers why not keep it for reference for later years. I hope you find a great job and if you don’t, you know my email address! Take care, thanks for listening!